Sad, Beautiful, Tragic
by UncoveredConspiracy
Summary: "You've changed. You've let the fire consume you. The light that once shown so bright is extinguished and it burns nothing but darkness now. The man I knew is gone." "The man you knew was a lie" "No. The man I see now is a lie" LokiXOC
1. Prologue

Sad, Beautiful, Tragic

**Hello all! Thanks for clicking on my story. This is my first story ever and I'm definitely not an English major but hopefully someone will enjoy it. I'm a huge fan of Loki. I don't see him as being a character ever capable of letting someone be close to him, at least not after the events in the movies. However, I think its reasonable to say there feasibly could have been ****_someone_**** who cared when he was younger. We're all young and dumb and idealistic at some point right? And if he's thousands of years old he must've at least tried to love someone once. He wasn't born with issues. Life made him that way. So that is the basis for my story. Hopefully everything stays mostly cannon. Never read the comics so they didn't have much influence here, more mythology influence if anything.**

**Disclaimer: Marvel owns the playground. I'm just playing there.**

In dreams, I meet you in warm conversation  
We both wake in lonely beds, different cities  
And time is taking its sweet time erasing you  
And you've got your demons and darling they all look like me  
Cause we had a beautiful magic love there  
What a sad beautiful tragic love affair

"Sad, Beautiful, Tragic" - Taylor Swift

_No Loki. _

He was . A failure. A disappointment. A monster.

So what was the point?

He let go. Thor screamed. But he didn't reach back. He watched them fall away from him. Watched as Thor was pulled back onto the safety of the bridge. Watched until they were nothing but a distant speck against the shores of his once home. While his body was pulled against the crushing gravity of the crumbling portal and his vision was lined with blue.

No one would miss him. No one loved him. No one wanted him.

A flash of light engulfed him and the air was forced from his lungs. Then blinding darkness and crushing silence. More light. A piercing shriek; a sound like the sharp grating of metal against itself. Air again. And blurs of light and blue. So much blue.

It was better this way. No one had to fix him anymore. Make him something he wasn't. He could vaguely make out the pinpricks of light flashing past him so quickly they became blurred into long ribbons of white around him.

The light rushed past. More sound. The hum of magic.

He was never truly one of them. He never had been.

He deserved this. What better place for a monster than the bottom of an abyss.

Colors flew by him. Blinding flashes of purple and green dancing across his vision with vivid intensity. More Light. And Heat. Motion and movement. Ribbons. Blurs of colors and flashes of darkness. Cold. More color. More blue.

The pain would stop. The weight in is chest. The damage to his pride. The sting of knowing he wasn't worthy. Done. Over. Gone.

Faster. Darkness. Heat.

No more fighting. No more disappointment. No more being let down. No. This was good. This was right. This is how it should be.

A memory. _A tall dark horse. The scent of leather. The feel of freedom. _

Blurs of color raced by. Faster. Spinning. Orbs of green light. Streams of red and blue. A flash of blinding yellow. And heat. And energy. And magic and metal.

And fear. Out of control. Too much.

No. Its better.

_A dusty book_. More blue. _A willow tree._ A flash of red. _Young gray eyes wide with innocence and curiosity_

No love for the wicked. I want this. This is good. Right. Its better. This is what they want. This is what I want.

_A blade. A sword pressed hard to his neck. A flash of gold and light-hearted laughter. Never forget I love you._

More blue. More sound. Fear again. More heat. Spinning. Faster and faster. No more control. The taste of metal and magic.

_Soft brown hair and silky sheets. _The deafening screech of grating metal_. Whispered nothings. A gentle sigh._

This is better. This will fix it. This will make it stop. No one loves you. You are bad. Evil. Worthless.

_Don't tell me it was that woman..._

Dark. Cold. Freezing. The scent of ozone. A flash of yellow. More heat.

So much better this way.

_Betrayal. Long blonde hair. Slim white fingers. A golden band._

Untrustworthy. A liar. A failure.

Green blurs. Spinning. Glowing Red light. Heat. So much heat.

No one will mind. No one will miss you. Bad. Evil.

_Blue eyes filled with hurt. Regret. A lie. "I love you, Sigyn"_

Faster. Speed. Oxygen.

No Loki.

No one will miss you.

No air. Red light. Fear. Crushing pressure.

_White paper. An invitation to a wedding_

No one.

Need to breathe. Black spots. No air.

No one.

Impact. Pain. Heat. Red.

No.

_Jotun. Snow. Cold. Blue. Monsters. _

Better.

Fire. Rock. Fear.

_A letter._ Grief.

No one.

Silence.

Evil.

Red.

Fear.

Darkness.

Peace.

**Please Review**


	2. Chapter 1

Sad, Beautiful, Tragic

Chapter 1: Meeting

**Hello again! Here's the next Chapter. Let me know what you think.**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing but my own characters. Marvel owns the beach, I'm just building sandcastles.**

Close your eyes and make believe,

This is where you want to be,

Forgetting all the memories,

Try to forget love because loves forgotten me

"Decoy" - Paramore

An elderly man and a young dark haired woman made their way through the busy streets of the city. The man though not of an extraordinary stature stood tall and rigid as he forced his way through the crowds, passing by the various shops, teeming with people attempting to escape the heat of the midday sun. People stared at them as they made their way through the golden city, finding it peculiar to see two non military people dressed so formally in the middle of the day. The man who rather resembled a small rhinoceros as he parted the crowd, had a certain arrogance to him which suggested they belonged to the wealthy upper class. The young woman, in contrast, was tall and slim with a less harsh demeanor, weaving elegantly through the crowds like a drop of water trickling down a window pane. She followed a stride behind him, the dark silk of her best Sunday dress floating out behind her as she dodged the various people left in the older man's wake.

A horse and rider passed by, the horse pausing a moment and turning his head to look at the girl and huffing air through his nose, sneezing in greeting. She shoved his large head away from her and pulled a handkerchief from her pocket to wipe at her face. She balled the handkerchief in to her pocket again and attempted to smooth her dress as they continued walking.

"Elizabeth! Stop fidgeting." the elderly man's stern voice commanded the young teenager beside him, whose slim fingers were now running agitatedly through her dark curls, displacing them from the intricate pattern woven tightly through her hair. She gave an impatient huff but stopped fussing with her hair and removed her hands busying them instead with tugging at the uncomfortable hem of her sleeves.

"Stand up straight, girl, you're going to be in fine company now. First impressions are unforgettable and it is essential you make a good one."

"But if they do not like me when I slouch then why should they like me more if I am tall." she pouted her thin lower lip jutting out.

"Nonsense, child. It is a matter of respect. You must show the royal family respect at all times, especially now that we are asking such a favor of them. Now hurry, we mustn't be late." he quickened his pace as they approached the white marble steps leading to the set of roads which would take them to the palace. His dark red cape flowed out behind him and the polished bronze of his armor glinted dully in the light. They began to walk down a street lined with enormous houses. Every house was different, but no less stunning or grand then its neighbor. Fountains played a gentle lullaby as water dripped off of golden statues. Gardens filled with brightly colored blooming flowers seemed to cover the yards of every house. The palace loomed just beyond them, shimmering and golden like a many piped were the houses of the upper nobility. The houses her father and mother had always wished they could live in. Though still of the nobility, they were of a lower rank. Not high enough to ever live in such a place. Just to be given a private audience with the Queen, now, was probably the pinnacle moment of her father's life.

"If I must be this uncomfortable when I dress everyday, perhaps I don't want to stay." the girl complained her high voice clear as a bell as she continued tugging at the cumbersome fabrics of her skirt. Her father only quickened his steps as they walked along the roadway. The path to the palace in their sights.

"Don't ruin this opportunity for yourself, girl. Many wish they were merely of fine enough blood to be allowed the company of the royals, never mind to be a member of their court."

"I do not want to be a member of the court. I don't even know anyone, there." she pouted, crossing her arms stubbornly across her chest. It was so unfair.

The roadway ended and they began to climb the final marble staircase onto the upper platform. The steps were short and they could see the East entrance of the palace above them. The girl stamped her foot irritatedly.

"All of my friends are at home. And without their presence to keep me sane, I shall be driven mad with loneliness and be forced to pitch myself off the highest balcony to end my suffering. And as I plummet to my death I shall think of nothing but how it is entirely your fault that I have met such an untimely end."

"Now is not the time for dramatics, Elizabeth."

"It is true!" she cried, "And the bards shall sing beautiful ballads of Elizabeth The Lonely, the most beautiful girl in all the land who met her untimely death on this very square of dirt." She pointed to the ground beside her, "And they shall pave that dirt with gold and engrave my name and my beautiful songs on it so no one shall forget me. And everyone shall stop to leave tokens of remembrance in my honor and weep for the loss of my short life. Will you come visit me father? Will you weep on my gold paved square of dirt?"

"Illiana Elizabeth, you're not going to die of loneliness. You'll make plenty of friends soon enough."

"How can you be sure? Hardly any members of the court are even near my age. First court is nothing but a bunch of stuffy, know-it-all old men and Second court is too serious. No one in the upper courts has a sense of humor. Why, I'll be forced to make friends with the commoners in lower court, scrubbing floors and serving wine until I am an old woman."

"Don't you be mixing in their company. You are of nobility. You do not mix with such filth." he lectured sternly.

"It was only a joke, father."

"If you do not make a good impression, it won't be. The queen may just have you scrub floors if you can't present yourself as a lady should"

They made it to the top of the stairs and onto the deck lined with massive pillars of gold. They followed the red carpeted marble path across the platform to the far end where two tall guards in gleaming armor stood watch in front of a massive, intricate gold door, their long sharp staffs held high. The old man stood straighter tilting his head up to look down his long nose. He puffed his chest out as he lengthened his stride and marched straight up to the two impressive guards.

"I am Lord Maverick" he introduced proudly, "And this my daughter Lady Elizabeth. We are here to see the Queen. I believe she is expecting us" he said, his voice full of authority and importance.

"Yes, this way, sir" the guard turned and led them across the deck, his yellow-gold cape flapping about his heels, and into a long hallway lined with colorful paintings and tapestries vividly illustrating various warriors in battle. She stopped a moment to stare at one in particular, a painting depicting a young man with golden hair laying on his back with a great cat like beast pouncing over him. His sword, held high above him, in the midst of piercing the belly of a great catlike beast, while the creatures claws dug into the man's abdomen. Despite his gruesome predicament, the man seemed at ease with his fate, his angelic face calm and serene. She narrowed her eyes, trying to understand the painting's message, but could not figure a reason for such a morbid painting to be on the walls of the warriors' home.

"Elizabeth." her father called to her urgently, grabbing her elbow and pulling her away from the painting to the end of the hallway. She shoved the painting to the back of her mind as she ran to catch up.

The guard stood before a tall, but plain wooden door once inscribed with words that had long since faded to an illegible scrawl more closely resembling scratches and deformities in the wood than words. Her father stopped her, grasping her shoulder and turning her towards him.

"Now remember, respect is of the utmost importance. Stand up straight. Don't fidget. Do not make eye contact unless specifically addressed. Do not use their names unless they tell you to do so, otherwise address them as your Highness or Your Majesty. Never argue and do exactly as they tell you. This is not the place for individuality so no sass. Be sure to use what ever means necessary to ensure you speak as little as possible. You are a woman and a Lady at that. Hold your tongue and don't say anything unless spoken to."

"I know. I won't" she looked down to her toes dejectedly.

"Good. Don't ruin this Elizabeth. This is your chance to bring your family and your name honor. Do not disappoint me." he gave her shoulder a rough slap, causing her to nearly stumble forward, however she quickly regained her composure, smoothing her hair and straightening the collar of her dress.

The guard opened the door to reveal a vast and spacious room. Shelves upon shelves lined neatly with heavy books covered nearly every inch of floor space. Looking up, she could see several more floors filled with the same neat rows of books. As far as she could see, endless stacks of books stretched. Although not particularly fond of reading, seeing such a place made her reconsider. She had never seen so grand a library in all her life.

The guard led them straight down an isle until the shelves ended revealing the far end of the library to be lined with picture windows nearly as tall as the shelves themselves, providing a breath taking view of the mountains and trees in the distance. The deep hues of the blue sky splashed against the landscape. No buildings lined the magnificent view; only nature in all its beauty as far as she could see.

She was so nearly overcome by the beauty of such a view, that she nearly missed the two people sitting at a small grouping of wooden tables near the corner. The table was messily lined with stacks of books precariously balanced against each other and papers haphazardly strewn across it, displaying a general state of chaos. It provided a stark contrast to the rest of the neatly organized room and to the two people now rising elegantly from their places at the cluttered table.

The first to stand was an older woman. She was small and thin though regal with golden curls swept elegantly back from her face in a shimmering clip. Her body was covered in a glittering jeweled dress. She appeared calm and gentle though something about her demeanor said she was just as fierce a warrior as any man.

The second, a man, who she noticed could not be much older than herself, was tall and thin with dark hair and large, brilliant, shining, emerald eyes, now staring disinterestedly at her. Remembering her father's words she quickly lowered her gaze to the floor.

"Your Majesties, I present Lord Maverick and his daughter Lady Elizabeth"

"My Lord and Lady, Her Majesty the Queen and her son Prince Loki." the guard gave a curt bow and backed into the shadows.

Maverick gave a deep bow as his daughter curtsied and lowered her head in respect.

"Pleased to make you acquaintance" she murmured. The Queen smiled warmly at her stepping around the table to greet them and motioning her son to do the same. He followed her rather reluctantly it seemed, however she could not be sure as he gave little expression to indicate his thoughts.

"My queen, I spoke with one of your finest warriors, Fandrall the Dashing, who indicated you were in need of a new female member in your court. I offer you my daughter, Lady Elizabeth. He mentioned he would speak to you about her potential to hold a position. She is a fine worker and rather accomplished in the arts-"

Her thoughts drifted off as she looked to the younger Prince once again. He stood by his mother's side, hardly attempting to hide his obvious disinterest as he absently examined his fingers, only nodding and smiling when his mother turned toward him before returning his gaze down.

He stood tall and straight, his posture impeccably perfect despite his casual stance. He was small though. He was not particularly tall, perhaps only a few inches taller than herself, and thin. Almost willowy, though she guessed he was probably much stronger than he looked.

Her eyes moved to trace the sharp planes of his face. The strong lines of his jaw and thin lips pulled down in a slight frown. Smooth pale skin contrasting with the darkness of his hair which was smoothed back away from his face.

She supposed he was rather beautiful. In an unconventional way as he possessed hardly any typical Asgardian traits but for the high cheekbones and light eyes. But those eyes. Large, vibrant, green eyes like pools of liquid emerald. Beautiful eyes. Eyes far too pretty for a man. She had always been jealous of those with green and brown eyes. They were so unusual and so incredibly beautiful. So rare for Asgardians, unlike her own common blue-gray eyes. She wondered if she stared long enough if they would stop flashing and dancing, the way they did. They caught the light so strangely, like they were always moving even when he himself was not. She wondered if he even knew his eyes were so captivating.

Those emerald eyes flashed suddenly up to meet her own, as though he could hear her thoughts, and she could feel heat rising to her cheeks as she lowered her gaze to the floor once again.

"Can she do magic?" she snapped her attention back to the Queen's voice.

"Erm- magic is not her strong suit-'

"No then. Well I'm sure Loki would be thrilled to teach her some. If she wants to learn that is." Thrilled was an emotion she had a difficult time associating with this man whose expressions seemed rather somber and stoic. She tried to imagine his face alight with anything remotely close to joy but found it difficult to envision.

Wait-magic?

"A most extraordinary offer my Queen. She would be delighted to-"

"You can do magic" she cut in, her voice full of awe and wonder as she suddenly realized what the Queen had just said. He could do magic. And he might teach her. He might be able to help her overcome her shortcomings. She was embarrassingly inept at any form of magic considering no one had ever taken the time to teach her.

"Yes" he stated simply, his voice holding no emotion as continued to stare at his fingernails.

"Show me."

His eyes flicked up to hers again, mild curiosity reflected in their depths.

"Elizabeth!" her father nudged her hard in the ribs with his elbow clearing his throat. "Perhaps another time."

"My apologies, I meant no disrespect." she bowed her head again, remembering her place.

"It is quite alright Lady Elizabeth. You may stay. I'm sure you must be exhausted, though. I'll leave you to situating yourself in your new home"

Taking it as a dismissal, Loki nodded his head to her and her father before he walked back around to the table, pulling out the chair and returning to his books again.

"Raj?" the queen called to the guard, "Please take Lord Maverick to Erjak to discuss the details of his daughter's stay with us."

"Shall I show her to a room as well, your Highness?" Raj stepped forward from the shadows.

"That won't be necessary, Loki can show our lovely new guest to her room. He's been stuck inside for far too long, a change of scenery and a nice walk would do him good.

"Mother" He looked up quickly to his mother his eyes narrowing slightly and his lips pulling down infinitesimally in displeasure.

"Loki. Now would be good, please." she smiled at him in warning but he stared back at her, obviously communicating some unspoken words of protest, however she stared back equally as unrelenting. Obviously losing their silent debate and giving in, he sighed and shut the book, rising from his place again.

"This way." he muttered. Heading down one of the isles.

"Thank you, dear." Frigga called to him.

"Thank you your highness. Goodbye father" she curtsied quickly and followed the young Prince down the long isles of books and back to the wooden door at the entrance.

He pulled the door open but he didn't hold it open as she expected, letting it slam into her, nearly knocking her over. She staggered against the weight of the door and he he huffed impatiently. She shot a glare to the back of his head and they left the library. Prince or not, it was terribly rude.

He walked quickly his long strides covering the ground far quicker than her own, causing her to have to run to keep up at times. He said nothing to her, obviously irked that the girls appearance had caused him interruption to his previous activities, and clearly stating he wished to return as soon as possible.

The silence felt strained. It bothered her, this awkward quietness they were being forced to endure together. She wanted to speak, but feared upsetting him further.

The air felt thick with the tension and as each second passed it grew more suffocating. It continued to grow until it was a nearly all encompassing cloud and she was nearly choking on it. He seemed rather oblivious to the silent war in her head, but she could hardly stand it any longer, the echoing sounds of their footsteps on the stones more than enough to drive her insane. He was known as the Trickster, she figured he must have some sense of humor.

"They call you Silvertongue. But I do not understand why. You've said hardly anything in the whole twenty five minutes I've known you which should lead me to believe you are any such thing. I'm not sure I believe them." She smiled up at him, trying to get him to talk.

"Perhaps I am not feeling particularly talkative at the moment. I have nothing to say." he didn't look at her but continued staring straight ahead, and covering the ground in long strides. She trotted next to him in an attempt to keep up.

"No. Someone like you always has something to say. Its in your nature."

"Then perhaps I don't have anything to share with someone like you."

"And what exactly do you mean by that?" She paused, stopping as she stared perplexedly at him, trying to decide if she had offended him. He stopped as well, a few steps in front of her, turning to face her. His face was still expressionless but for the slight narrowing of his emerald eyes.

"I am a Prince and you are a court member. Remember your place."

"I meant no harm, your Majesty" she bowed her head and dropped her gaze to the floor again. Perhaps she _had_ offended him.

"Ammund," he called to a guard passing in the hall. The guard stopped, turning at attention in front of him. "Show Lady Illiana to a room. She is a new court member"

With that he turned on his heal and walked down the hallway, around the corner, and out of sight. Not even a curt goodbye.

At least he knew her name.

"Charming, that one is." she huffed.

"It is simply how he is, my Lady. Take no offense to it." the guard Ammund said leading her up a tall staircase. She began climbing the steps. He led her down two more hallways before finally stopping in front of a simple wooden door.

"These will be your quarters for the time being. All the rooms in this hallway belong to the court members." he handed her a small golden key. She pulled the door open and walked forward into the room.

"Good. They will suffice. Thank you." she curtsied and he bowed his head and left. She shut the door and walked forward into the room. She walked over to the bed and let herself plop back onto the large white bedspread. She surveyed the room.

It was decently large, allowing plenty of space, mostly covered in sandy tan tiling. The dark wood of the bed's headboard was pushed centered against the wall to the right of the door. The bed was covered in a thick white comforter with fluffy pillows in smooth hues of dark blue and green. Two small ornate, gold night stands stood on either side of the bed atop which sat clear decorative glass lamps. She reached across to turn one on, smiling at the way the light glistened prettily through the crystal.

The wall opposite the bed dipped down a few steps into an alcove with a long indigo colored couch covered in deep purple pillows and a dark green throw blanket set before a small black marble fireplace. The floor there was carpeted in light creme carpeting. A short book case was pushed against the wall a few feet to the side of the fireplalce. A heavy oak chest stood in the corner by the window and a tall brown and gold accented armoire was shoved against the corner by the door.

Thick blue curtains covered in shimmering blue and gold netting hung in long billowing wisps from the valence above the large picture windows taking up most of the space on the wall opposite the door. A glass door opened out onto a small private balcony, overlooking the tops of the buildings a floor below. Various paintings of dark blue and purple peacocks were spread through out the room along with ornate vases filled with peacock feathers.

She looked up at the chandelier in the center of the room. It was a nice enough room. Filled with nice things but not extravagant by any means. At least not for a palace.

Her thoughts drifted to the young man. Green eyes she called him. She could see his beautiful eyes dancing in her mind. She closed her own eyes. He was so peculiar. He was a Prince. The highest rank anyone could want besides being the king himself. She'd expected him to have impeccable manners. Yet he'd been perfectly rude to her and she hadn't done a thing to deserve it. She sighed exasperatedly. She wasn't some commoner or servant. She was nobility. Not of the highest rank but nobility nonetheless so he had no reason to act as he had towards her. Perhaps she had offended him with her outburst. But she didn't think so. He'd seemed surprised, almost curious to hear of her interest in his magic. That couldn't be why.

Maybe it was just how he was, as the guard had said. Maybe he was rude to everyone. She yawned curling onto her side. Either way, he was quite unpleasant towards her. Beautiful eyes or not she would make a point to avoid him when possible. He could show his pretty face elsewhere. She drifted off to sleep.

She awoke to a knock at her door. Sitting up and quickly smoothing her now tangled mass of dark curls she ran to open the door. Her father stood in the doorway.

"Good day, my child!"

"It is nearly evening" she mumbled tiredly.

"Ah but it is still a good day. They have taken you in as a court member. I could not be more proud. My daughter in direct service of the Allfather and his family."

"You say that as though it is grand news" she yawned rubbing at her eyes.

"Ah but it is my dear. You have done very well. Very well in deed. You would make your mother proud. I know it."

She stiffened at the mention of her mother. He was acting so strange. Normally he could barely speak her name for fear of bringing up memories of her mother let alone mention her.

"I certainly hope so" she said carefully.

"Now don't you mess this up. This is a splendid opportunity. Just think of the people you'll be mingling with. The people you be in contact with every single day. The Norns are smiling on us today. Bless our good fortune.

I even met both Princes. Two exceptional young men. Prince Thor is so very friendly and personable. You would like him. And Prince Loki. Capital fellow, a bit odd though. Quiet kid. Very intelligent."

"Yes he's just a ball of sunshine" she rolled her eyes.

"You two should get along quite splendidly."

She snorted. "Not likely."

"Well try. Elizabeth I want you to befriend both Princes as best you can. An opportunity such as this is not to be wasted. And to be able to know them on such a personal level...Don't disappoint me, girl."

"Yes Father" she sighed resignedly.

"Good. I will have your things sent to you within the week. Someone will be here in the morning to train you and inform you of your specific tasks and job specifications. You're pay will be sent to me. I will be back to visit in the fall. And I want to hear all about your adventures with the Princes of Asgard." He gave her an awkward, one armed hug before bounding out the door.

The room was suddenly still and quiet without her Father's high energy presence. She walked back to the bed and curled up under the blankets again. She didn't want to befriend the Princes. Especially not Loki. She just wanted to be at home in her own bed with her own friends. She pulled the covers up over her head and fell promptly back asleep.

**Please Review. I would be eternally grateful.**


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